How to Tell Your Children About Divorce

Going through a divorce is undoubtedly a challenging and emotional process, and breaking the news to your children can be one of the most difficult aspects of it. However, communicating openly and compassionately is crucial for helping your children navigate this significant life change. In this article, we’ll explore some strategies on how to approach the conversation with your children about divorce, focusing on their well-being and emotional needs.

  • Choose the Right Time and Setting

Timing and environment play a crucial role in how your children will receive the news. Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can talk without interruptions. Ensure that you have enough time to address their questions and concerns. It’s advisable to have this conversation when both parents are present, demonstrating a united front and emphasizing that the decision is mutual.

  • Be Honest, but Age-Appropriate

When explaining the situation, be honest about the decision to divorce without delving into unnecessary details. Tailor the information to the age and maturity level of each child. Younger children may need a simpler explanation, while teenagers may seek more information. Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will continue to love and support them.

  • Emphasize Stability and Routine

Children thrive on routine and stability. Assure them that, despite the changes, you will work together to maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives. Be specific about how their daily routines will be affected and share any plans regarding living arrangements, school, and extracurricular activities. Providing a clear picture of what to expect can help alleviate anxiety.

  • Validate Their Emotions

Expect a range of emotions from your children, including sadness, anger, confusion, and fear. Encourage them to express their feelings without judgment, and reassure them that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Be patient and empathetic, letting them know that you are there to support them through this challenging time. Professional counseling may also be considered to help them cope with their emotions.

  • Avoid Blaming and Negative Language

It’s crucial to avoid blaming each other or using negative language about the other parent during the conversation. Present a united front by emphasizing that the decision to divorce is between the adults and is not a reflection of the children’s behavior. Reinforce that both parents will continue to love and be involved in their lives, fostering a healthy co-parenting dynamic.

  • Answer Questions Truthfully

Children may have a multitude of questions about the divorce. Answer them truthfully and age-appropriately. If you don’t have an answer, be honest about it, and assure them that you will provide information when it becomes available. Reassure them that ongoing communication will be a priority, and they can always come to you with their concerns.


Telling your children about a divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but approaching the conversation with sensitivity and openness can help ease the transition. Remember to prioritize their emotional well-being, be honest yet age-appropriate, and foster an environment where they feel supported and loved. Seeking professional guidance for both yourself and your children during this process can also be beneficial in navigating the complexities of divorce and ensuring a healthy emotional outcome for everyone involved.  If you need support with strategies, and with your own mental well-being during this tumultuous time, click here  and schedule a call with one of our divorce coaches.